As I enter my 10th or maybe 11th year of triathlon, I begin to wonder if it is my last. I know I say that every year but this year motivation is at all time low. I am just not sure where it has gone. I sit here and watch Stewart getting fitter by the minute and more and more motivated and I am just blah. He blames it that I haven't picked any races for the season so I have no goals or nothing to train for. He may be right. I do plan to do Rebelman even though I haven't registered for it. I am waiting to see if it will be cold. Those days are OVER! Even knowing rebelman is on the horizon doesn't have me motivated. I have ran 3 miles this week!! Sunday I put on my running clothes for a long run and wore them all day but never made it out to run. Story of my life lately.
The thing is I just can't figure out what to do without triathlon. I have been doing it so long just not sure what could fit in its place. I keep hoping that something will come along but not sure. I also hope that I may race a race and that will be just what I need to light my fire.
Sure I am training some but nowhere where I need to be. Life just seems to always get in the way and daylight savings has really rocked my world! Where is the time gone? The other day I was finishing up dinner at 8:45 and realized that it was not 6:00 like I thought and my night was pretty much over. And I sure wasn't having a late dinner because I was training!
Track has also rocked me over into a new universe, I am school late and traffic has sucked! Getting home is an adventure in itself and by the time I get there I don't want to do anything. I also don't want to do anything before work because it is dark once again in the morning. Staying in bed has been optimal. Maybe I will take up knitting.
Yesterday I tried Bikram yoga. I was really hoping to fall in love! Unfortunately I did not but I did like it and I will go back. I do know I am super sore today and for the first time in a week my foot does not hurt and my calf feels loose. Maybe that has to do with the fact that I only have ran 3 miles but I hope it is the Bikram. I think yesterday was just a shock! I walked in and it was HOT!! My first thoughts were it is hot as a MF in here. I am surprised they didn't come out of my mouth. At first I began to doubt myself and wonder if I was going to make it but I told myself you are an Ironman - you can do this. That is the great thing about completing an Ironman, I feel like once you do that you can use that to measure up to anything. I also wore a watch into class which is 90 minutes long by the way! An hour and a half for the math challenged like me! When it beeped on the hour I was told by the instructor watches were not allowed. What?? If I would not have had a watch on I maybe would have had a mental breakdown. At times I felt like the only thing that kept me going was saying you have 30 minutes left, you have 5minutes left, etc. No watch is going to be a huge mental challenge but one I probably need. I am not sure I have ever sweat that much in my life even on a hot July run. I am going to buy the introductory package so the good thing is if I do get motivation back I will have a jump start on heat training. And not only is it hot but you can only drink when they let you and you pretty much can't leave. If you are having issues, they ask you just sit there and breathe which is no small feat. At times I felt like I was at max running heart rate while laying on a mat!
So - please tell me how do I find this motivation?? I want to race - I want to get in shape but unfortunately I have found laying on the couch wrapped in a blanket or hanging out I want more.
I may toe the line on April 3rd. I can be over confident and undertrained. The good thing is I am now 45, I can just use my age as my excuse.
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