The Foot....

Oh... the foot.  Not really sure what I can say about this foot.  Years ago, I would make fun of people who said they couldn't run because of plantar or because their foot hurt.  I secretly thought they were wimps and just needed to suck it up.  Well... then karma appeared to bite me in the ass and I found myself walking the walk of shame from Breakaway on Germantown pkwy all the way back to the visitor center at Shelby Farms.  I literally could not run another step because of the pain.  I called everyone I knew in between fits of stomping my feet and cussing to pick me up but no one answered.  Karma was laughing.  It was also laughing when I went from there to a boot. Not once but about a year later that sweet foot ended up in a boot again.  Sigh...


So, fast forward a few years - after  I really  have shown  true sympathy for people with foot issues  I find myself there again.  As Dr. Croft says I spend a lot of time on my feet that I don't consider when not running.  I also spend it in weird combinations of shoes.  You would think working in athletics with work out gear on, I would just wear a running shoe and be done.  Nope, you can find me in keens, uggs, rain boots, crappy shoes, etc.

So... let's go all the way back to April and the Boston Marathon.  I was hurt... surprise... being over zealous and lots of hills tend to do that to me.  I thought I had a stress fracture in my hip ( I didn't) but leading up to the race, I quit running.  I had not ran in about 2 weeks or more.  As luck would have it, I had just bought a new pair of shoes that I had never ran in.  New brand, new type everything.  I figured race day couldn't be worse so I wore said shoes and HATED them!  And FYI - not sure race day could be any worse.  I really disliked everything about Boston.  I use to say Hate but over time I guess I have mellowed.  I returned these clunky heavy shoes and asked for the lightest thing they had and thought I loved them.  I took some more time off to recover from the race from hell that left me for dead and to heal the injury and I started running in these shoes and they were great.  This was around May.

In June, I became sick with pneumonia and was put on an antiobotic that was told after the fact, athletes should NEVER take.  I developed tendonitis in the top of my foot and it hurt like a bitch.  Dr. Croft prescribed my best friend ( a steroid)  but it did not really do the trick.  I was in the middle of Ironman training and I just had to suck it up.  I also made sure I never ran back to back and if I could get a longer recovery time to baby my foot, I could manage it.  Even though it did and still would keep me up off night with pain.  We did spend a TON of time working on my tight calves.  I am sure if the school PT guy would bill me, I would owe him my next two years of paychecks!!

Made it through Ironman, took time off, back to running  - yep pain is still there.  This time we try steroid ( YES) and 3 weeks of vimovo.  First we think it is really working but then not so much!  GRR...  I am now ready to get back at it.  I feel fat, sluggish, and no sense of purpose.  I decide to train for the Wynne 25k in Jan.  I decide to just run 3 days a week, lower mileage - higher intensity.  Sometimes I am not sure if I am going to make it there.  Sometimes I feel like I am one step away from a boot. 

So I constantly think about this foot.  It is always in the back of my head.  My ankle is tight with not much mobility, the top of my foot is painful to the touch, and sometimes just taking my shoe off hurts.  But... I am still running.  I am brilliant - right?  Well, I began to wonder if maybe the medicine was not the problem but the new shoes?  They were kind of close together in time range.  So - yesterday, I had mile repeats.  Decided to go with my racing flats instead of my usual shoes and YES the foot did hurt some, and yes it woke me up last night, and yes I did have to start my morning rolling my calves but it really feels better.  It really feels like the pain is not like it usually is a day after the run.  So I begin to think, could it be the shoes that I have bought 3 times now because I LOVED them and they were my favorite?  Please don't tell me they are the culprit??  Have I spent months on meds and PT and in pain when all I should have done was switch a shoe?  Yep, I am a slow learner so I will hit Fleet Feet before my long run.

Praying that these shoes are the culprit.  Wouldn't that be sweet?  Who would have thought?? I do love a simple solution!

Happy Running!

Off Season...

Off Season - oh how I love you!

You started out a little precarious.  I was depressed, sad, and lost without my ironman training. Race day was so great ( best ever) that I was just on a huge high let down.  I was stressed and thinking what can I do next?  I also felt nervous because Stewart has already registered for NOLA half ironman and Wisconsion full ironman.  I knew better to sign up for anything at this time because I had so many emotions but it was hard not to.  I even toyed with signing up for Louisville.

The first week was bad, I was grouchy and cranky.  I was not sleeping through the night.  I may have yelled at everyone unnecessarily if you could believe that.  I was shocked.  Why was I missing training so much?  There were times when I was sure I hated it and never wanted to see my swim bag or bike again.  Second week got better, still a little lost, still not sleeping through the night.  Third week... you are awesome.  I love the off season!

I had a great girls weekend and never did I have to worry about what training I was missing or what fitness I may be losing.  I did do one run just because it was a glorious beautiful day.  I was going to run 30 minutes and then decided to extend.  It was great.  No plan.  Just run what you want.  I am still having some foot issues but was super happy to see this run went well.

I have joined back up with 9 rounds and going to doing xtreme fitness bootcamp.  I am going to try to attend one or the other 5 days a week ( if I feel like it) to build some strength.  Running and biking when I want.  It is amazing how your body can be so fit one way but so weak in others.  I went to xtreme fitness for the first time and was so sore for two days.  A couple of times during the hour work out I was wishing I was back on the ironman course.  It had to be easier.  Yesterday I attended 9 rounds and my booty is sore like no other.  Last year - Riley did tell me 9 rounds was giving me a J-Lo booty so I guess  I am on my way.

Hoping the foot will hold out so I can do Wade's big adventure as it is my all time favorite race!  It may be my slowest time ever but those days when I race when I am fit and ready are over.  It is all about the fun for me.

I am leaving for Vegas tomorrow so I doubt much of anything will get done.  I may hit the gym a few times to sweat out some alcohol but so looking forward to doing nothing.

I would love to get to Yoga but can't find classes to fit my schedule.  I may need to get my dvd's out and return to my yoga at home.  I do love some Bob Harper.

I still love racing and not ready to retire yet.  Even though many days this summer I thought I would do just that.  Noah and I have talked about doing a mom and pop half ironman together this year.  He has joined the swim team to start his prep.  He did not get his swim gene from me.  He has not swam since his 6th grad year and came home and told me he did his 25's in 14 seconds and his 50's in 38.  Oh to be young again and just hop in the pool and do that.  I have never seen those times and more than likely never will.    I love that he is returning to the pool.


See you on the flip side.....

It is over...... Thanks Chattanooga Ironman! You were awesome!

Well... it is done.  I could do a long race report but 144.6 miles is a lot to cover.  I am going to briefly hit the high points.

What I do know is I feel kind of sad, lost, and wondering what do I do now.  After training since January, following a plan, and planning work outs around family time, work, coaching, etc. It seems so weird to just have nothing.  I was actually relieved when I looked on training peaks and saw that Liz had scheduled some recovery bikes and swims this week.  This feels normal.  As much as I hated many of the early mornings and the long days, it is sad to be done.  I know I will quickly get in the spring of things or the fall of things.  I LOVE fall and can't wait to spend mornings drinking coffee and reading on the porch, doing outside stuff with the kids, yoga, bootcamp, and trail runs and mountain biking.  I also have a girls trip planned for next week and Stewart and I have a trip to Vegas for the week after but today I feel maybe a tiny bit depressed.  The HUGE high and build up of last week and yesterday is just over - just like that but you do have some great memories.  Some of those best memories were having all of the kids ( only Noah has seen me do an Ironman before) and family cheer me on.  They were such a welcome bright spot every time I see them.  Hearing your kids call you your hero and say I am so proud of you lets you know that you are doing a great job of being a wonderful role model and example for them.  I know many people think training takes away from family time but if you do it right, it really doesn't and it provides your kids with so much more.  I love that my kids see me as so much more than mom but someone who goes after what she wants, is not afraid to go after my dreams, never backs down from a challenge and has my own hobbies, desires, and dreams.

Chattanooga was just awesome.  It is one of my favorite places to be and getting to go there on Thursday and spend time with Riley before the race made it that much more special.  The town knows how to put on an ironman and the crowd support was wonderful .  I think this was the first time that I ever ran with someone setting fireworks off over my head.

I knew that I wanted to be in the 12 hour zone and I wanted a PR.  I knew that the swim would be a PR  - regardless of current, I was swimming down a river.  I was super excited to PR my bike and my run as well!!

As I jumped off the dock, the man yelled at me " You ready to have a PR swim" and yes I was!!  This was also the first time I have ever done an Ironman without a wetsuit which was a huge accomplishment for me!  Although I am still not a super fast swimmer, this summer I really became confident in my swim.  Beside not being able to swim straight the swim was uneventful.  After seeming like we stood in line forever, we were running down the dock to jump in.  Stewart still had not put on his cap or goggles so I turned around to see if he had jumped in.  I didn't see him again until about 25 minutes later when I saw a foot with red tape under me - I yelled at him, we talked for a moment and then swam on.  Neither of us knew we were even by each other and we were super excited to exit the swim ladder 3 seconds a part!  The only time I was going to see him that day and I loved it!  Both of us not being strong swimmers were celebrating being out of the water.  Loved having the kids waiting on us and thought about seeing them the whole 2.4 or more as I weaved my way down the river.

The bike was great!  I loved that I had biked it a couple of times so I knew where I was all the time.  I also knew it was a beautiful course in the valley of the mountains so I made sure I took the time to enjoy the scenery. Liz and I discussed me riding steady and easy on the hills.  My goal was to be in the 6 hour range and I was.  I stopped at the 60 mile mark to grab my bag and chat with the family ( so much fun again) and stopped one more time to fill my bottles but the rest of the time was all go.  So this summer, I did a lot of solo riding as Liz often had me riding on Sunday and nobody rides on Sunday or I rode solo because I was always behind Stewart.  Paid off huge yesterday as mentally I was good the whole time!  I was use to being alone and enjoyed the few conversations that I had with my fellow racers.  In fact, the time seemed to go by really fast.

I started the run and felt good, was hoping to run steady enough, walk through the aid stations and average close to 9 minute mile.  This worked for awhile and then I hit the hills!  Holy Hilly!  It was crazy!  After the first 13 miles, I decided I didn't care if I met my goal, my new goal was to enjoy it, soak it in, and get to finish.  Somehow I managed to get a PR from previous ironman runs but I seemed to be walking more than running.  Before I knew it - I was rounding the corner to hit the finish line.

I have said it before and I will say it again.  There is nothing like an ironman finish line!  Just thinking about it brings me to tears.  This is where all your training, dedication, hard work come together and it is so emotional and so amazing as you run through crazy screaming fans to bright lights, music, people cheering and giving you high five and your family there waiting!!  After 12 hours and 41 minutes all my hard work this summer and the day was over!  You can not imagine.  I am so thankful that I have a body and mind that allows me to do this!  I was once again reminded what a lucky girl I was!

Finally saw Stewart and saw that he had a great day and did an 11:52 on his first ironman even after possibly biking too hard ( surprise) and running like a crazy person with a 6:52 first mile.  I was so proud of him and do not think I quit smiling the rest of the night!

I do have to brag - although he beat me by an hour - I beat him in the swim by 3 seconds and on the run by 15 minutes.  Sorry baby... it wouldn't be right if I didn't throw that in there.

We went to mellow mushroom but I really couldn't eat and then we went to the finish line and brought home the last finishers.  Truly inspiring!  The last finisher made it with a minute to spare.

I couldn't sleep at all because my foot was killing me and my appetite finally returned so I found myself up before 5:00 and walking to waffle house for a quick snack.

So... for now - not sure what my plans are going to be.  I am definitely taking some time to just be but I may have a half ironman in the future, race a half marathon, run sylamore and finally break my 6 hour time goal after being so close for two years, do ragbrai, or just become a sprint specialist.  I do know that Stewart is more than likely going to sign up for Louiville Ironman.  That I think - I mean I am pretty sure I am going to pass.  I will just concentrate on my Sherpa skills starting with the NOLA 70.3... can't think of a better place to Sherpa and just as much as I hate riding in the heat - I really hate riding in the cold

Thanks Chattanooga Ironman!!  You were awesome!

Trust your training - trust your coach- trust yourself

Trust your training- trust your coach- trust yourself. This will be my mantra for the next 20 days. Now is the time when I began to become afraid and question everything. Did you do enough? Did you do enough quality? Everyone seems to be doing more or less than you and possibly doing smarter and more quality work outs. This weekend especially as Stewart had a longer bike than me and all the doubts began to creep in... I should be doing more, maybe I will abandon my plan and jump on his but then I have to remember I pay and hired Liz cuz she is a smart lady. She knows what she is doing and she knows me.   She just sent me an article about racing and fear and it had such great points.

Fear makes you realize that something is worth it. What fun would it be to do everything perfectly and know no one could beat you. The fear and the challenge is what makes it worth it and what makes the win meaningful. I  definitely not going for a win at ironman but I would like a well executed day with a PR at the end. Fear has set in. I biked the course and it seemed harder than I remembered. The wind seemed extra fierce and all the doubts begin to creep in. I need to remember what I tell my cc kids everyday. The mind controls the body. I constantly make them tell I am a beast while doing hard work outs. I want them to think that instead of thinking I  dying.  Today I will start thinking I am a beast and will continue until I hear Mike Riely yell you are an ironman!! Just the thought of those words can bring me to tears and still give me chills. They have been repeated in my head during many of long training days. Taper is here but not really, I still have a pretty hard week but that just gives me more time to trust in myself

This weekend I raced a sprint and there is nothing like a sprint to remind me why I live triathlon. The great thing about IM training is it relaxes me. I am too busy and too tired to stress about a race. Race morning my race wheel had a piece of glass in it. After two attempts of changing the tire, we just stuck my training wheel back on. Did I hate it? Yes, stress about it ? No. Due to all my early wake up calls, I had no trouble getting to the race early which gave me extra time to talk and meet many of those around me. Much to Stewart just shaking his head. I did do a very short warm up and felt great in the water

Started the race with the female winner behind me and she was from Germantown.  Funny to come out of town to meet a hometown triathlete. Based on her swim time, I knew she was faster. My plan was to hold her off as long as I could. She did catch me and I was kind of relieved because know I could draft. Unfortunately we only had 25 yds left. I did not pass anyone else but she was the only one to pass me. Although my swim was still slow as crap, it was faster for me!

We came out of water together and I made what I think the first mistake that could have cost me the win. We had a long run back to transition and for some reason, I became confused and ran under the taped area we were suppose to run in and entered transition from the wrong side. I knew I screwed up and looked around, saw what I was suppose to do, ran back out and corrected it. Although this cost me some time, what it did cost me was leaving transition with the first place girl. She only outbiked me by about 40 seconds and it makes me wonder what I could have done if we left head to head. I pushed hard on the bike abs repeated catch that group over and over in my head as I saw those in front of me. It was s hilly ride and I was pleased with my average. I have also gone from an all water drinker to a lover of scratch ( just a side note). I caught the then 2nd place girl with about a mile left and she did catch back up to enter T2 together. I know this is not always right but based on the fact that she outweighed me, I was planning on being the faster runner. T2 is my specialty- I was in and out and searching for the 1st place girl. The course was winding and hilly and you couldn't see who was in front of you. It was also hilly as hell. I knew the run would be my struggle. I need speed work and fast foot turn over to even attempt to be fast. I have had neither in IM training. 7:40's are fast for me these days. Not surprisingly my run pace was 7:30 ish. My second mistake was not taking a guy when I left T2.  I felt so bonky but had no water until turn around to take mine and what a difference it made. So I am still looking and chasing and we did a little loop behind the school so I missed first place girl. And I begin to give up in my head. I settled for 2nd place. I knew 3rd was not close. I ended up beating her by 6 minutes!  1st outran me by 20 seconds!!! I did what I always tell my cc kids never to do!  Don't give up and don't settle!!  Stewart said later he heard them yell - here comes 1st girl and was sad it was not me. The great thing is I would have loved to win- who wouldn't but the days are beating myself up are over. I did what I could and I had a great time doing it!

Stewart has just turned into a beast. He was 5th or 6th overall and after good swim for him, a killer bike, he managed to run that hilly course with a 6:30 pace on legs that were trashed from ironman. It is amazing to see his improvement. He has already signed up for NOLA half and has his eye on another IM for next year - not me!  I plan to be Sherpa extraordinaire and sprint race master. I also have requested that Stew take private swim lessons. He gets that swim fixed, he is going to be a beast

As we are 20 days out from Ironman and Stew begins his packing list. I  am stressing over my underwear for the underwear run. They need to be perfect as well as the shirts that our awesome friend Liz is designing for our spectators

I have also started my post ironman list...

sleep in and lay around drinking coffee
Go to boot camp!
Go to yoga!
Girls weekend
Trip to Vegas with big daddy
Read
The possibilities are endless!!

The big dance is almost here ....

That I Needed......

As I drive to Chicago I am reflecting back on yesterday's race. Reviewing the good, the bad, how I felt etc is an important part of the race process. I am still all over the place when it comes to triathlon these days. I still say this may be my last season, it is time to move on and then the next thoughts are  Just doing sprints seems appealing as well.  As I put on my bathing suit, I said to Stewart this may be the last time I wear this suit as I will not wear it in ironman. I hope to squeeze in one more sprint before I close the season out with Chattanooga

So 4 weeks ago when I would think about this half, I was excited, I was ready to race, I wanted a PR. I felt like my performance at Waterfront was good but not what I wanted. I had trouble with getting my body to race after so many months of aerobic training. I thought the half would be perfect because I could race at just slightly higher than aerobic pace.

After Chattanooga, my work outs begin to really pick up. Two things happened, I lost about 4-5 lbs. even Riley was shocked when she saw me and my long bike rides begin to go to hell. Losing 4-5 lbs on me is huge and as I look back I think this could possibly be a contributing factor in these rides. I love junk but since marrying Stewart we just really don't eat it or buy it. My eating has really cleaned up but I have found with the type of training I have been putting in, I need junk. I have a high metabolism and pretty much clean eating and high miles were leaving me pretty lean.

On each long ride, I was getting nauseous, sick, headache, dizzy, clammy and just kind of out of it by the end. Most of these I pushed through. In Arkansas two weeks ago I knew pushing through was going to lead to an ER visit. I have done this sport long enough to know the difference between I am hot, tired, cranky, and ready to be done between something not right. After each of these rides I was scared. Scared because I knew I was looking at a big ole DNF in Chattanooga in the face. No way would my body have let me complete an Ironman

Nothing like an email from Liz with a big Fix it NOW to let u know u better get your butt in gear. Luckily I went on a big taper week and Riley was in town and I ate poorly and I ate a ton like I was still training high miles. This resulted with me going into the half closer to my old race weight. Believe me like any girl seeing low numbers on the scale is awesome but wisdom and maturity I also know that sometimes it is not ideal. I also began to quiz everyone on their nutrition and think back to years past and what I did then.

After talking with Liz, we decided that I wasn't getting in nearly enough calories on the bike nor enough electrolytes. Of course I wasn't because I felt sick and bloated and food and water just made me want to yak. We also decided That I was riding too hard and my hr was too high so my body could not properly digest the food

Believe me I stressed about it all week. Was I going to get my first ever DNF?  What should I eat, what should I drink?? After a week of stressing, I was walking down in downtown Springfield and passed a beautiful cathedral. I told Stewart I need to go in here. My catholic upbringing took over and I was in there lighting a candle and saying a prayer. Yes praying for a triathlon. I did throw in some prayers for others who needed them for serious stuff so I wouldn't seem too self absorbed. Mostly I prayed for peace and a calm mind

That night I told Stewart I need to not think of this as a race but a long training day. I need to work on my nutrition, dial it back, relax, and if my fitness is there I will still have a good race. My mind was now relaxed and at peace

So I did not get a PR and I was 10-15 mins slower than hoped but the course and conditions were harder than I expected. The swim was a disaster. I am not sure what happens to me swimming in a large body of water but I just suck. I can't swim straight, I can't sight, I find myself swimming towards the bank instead of the buoys. The water was rough very rough and I was having a hard time getting a rhythm. It seemed I still kept running into people almost a mile into it. In fact you swam right at the beginning turned around and headed left. At this point, I swam head onto someone. Liz had told me with your fitness,  you can swim this under 40 minutes. The thing is I don't get tired or winded, I just swim slow!! As I hit the turn around bouy for the Olympic distance race, I looked at my watch and saw 33 which I knew under 40 was not going to happen. In fact I swam my slowest half iron swim ever!!!  I think it was long but of course I did. I did hear others say it as well. I decided that ironman swim straight down the river was going to be easier.

As I exited the swim I told myself to forget it. Nothing I could do now. Another girl racking her bike must have had the same thoughts because I heard her husband yell don't worry about it. The sad thing is in that mess of s swim I still passed many men who started 4 minutes ahead of me

The bike started and so did the head winds, the rain and a few slight rollers. This was a tougher ride than I anticipated.  I saw lightening in the distance and really dark clouds but luckily we just got rain. One thought was in my mind eat and drink. Relax.  I was already upset because with the head wind I wasn't riding as fast as I wanted. I let everything settle for about 15 mins and took my first gu. I was also using base salt because Liz said enduralytes were a no goal. Every 5 miles, I was suppose to stick my finger in , get some salt and lick. I also used this 5 miles to drink as well.  Of course I drank at other times too but I liked this scheduled drinking.  I did great on my fueling took in 3 bottles of water, bottle of scratch, Gus, power bar and honey stinger waffle.  I also would feel hungry which was a good thing, my body was processing food. I met a guy on the ride and we rode the whole thing pretty much close. We often would ride side to side talking. This worked well with my dial it back attitude. Yes we could have got a blocking penalty   Around mile 10 on a really windy section, my speed started going all over the place. It was showing me biking 3 mph.  This proved to be a Godsend. I thought it was the wind blowing against the magnet but whatever the issue my computer was worthless. I had no idea how fast I was riding. Gone was the stress about holding a certain pace or I should be riding faster I just rode which felt right. It also was nice because at one point, I thought I was about 25 miles and realized I was at 37.  Felt good on the bike. Caught and passed quite a few girls and people and as I began to approach the end of the ride, I decided since I was having no issues I would eat and prepare for the run. Smartest thing I could have done.

Got off the bike and had to pee ( here comes TMI ) but was thrilled to relieve myself  all over myself during transition and at every water stop for the next 5 miles. Boy was I hydrated. Could not have been happier as I knew I fueled correctly.

I never run with a garmin but decided I would this race and once again great new decision. I knew I could run an 8:15-8:30 pace safely.  I started out fast and remembered Liz saying everything feels easy the first 3 miles don't do it. With the help of garmin, I backed it down    The rain stopped just in time for the run and came sun and humidity. The run was hilly but I could not have felt better. I continued with ice down top, ice over head, water, salt , gu and felt amazing!! The miles clicked off. Never walked the hills, never walked because of heat, tired, etc. Did walk through aid stations as planned.  People were dropping like crazy , walking saying it is so hot and I was like thank you Memphis!!! Nothing more encouraging to have everyone cheering u on and saying u look so strong. Continues to pass more and more people to have a guy say I think u r 8th overall. I was more than pleased. It didn't even matter because I was having my race and I was winning. Before I knew it I was done!  Came across the line, I was sore but hungry! Yes ... Body was using my food. I didn't need to take any anti nauseous meds as had been the habit

I am ready to tackle the last 9 weeks of ironman. It isn't going to be easy but I don't expect it to be but first a couple of R and R and no training in Chicago!!!

Racing Scared...

So...

I have a half ironman this weekend and if I recall I use to love to race a half.  Really one of my favorite distances.  I was really looking forward to this race and now I am scared!  I think the last time I was this nervous before I was going into a race was IM wisconsion.  I am soooo nervous and not because I don't feel fit.  I actually feel really fit.  Well fit to hold distances at a steady pace.  If I had to sprint or run a mile faster then the mid 7's, I may just break down into one puddle of mess.  So training was going really well - got the steroids for the foot and all was well and then I hit two disastrous weekends of long bike fueling.  One of them I spent the last hour of the bike sick as a dog and just prayed to get off the bike but once I started running things were a little better but it was not good.  I was determined that next week I needed to nail my nutrition.  Well next week was a disaster.  I didn't nail crap and was once again sick but this time I had an added pounding headache.  Climbing back into the hot head wind the last 13 miles to get to my car were like a death march.  More than once, I just wanted to sit on the side of the road and wait.  What I was waiting for, I am not sure as the group I was with had dropped me and Stewart was on another route killing the 100 miles that I should have been riding.  Finally made it back to my car and had another 30 minutes to ride and 30 minutes to run but I was done.  The miles were not quality and I was pretty sure I was one step away from an IV.  With these two disastrous long rides all confidence went with it.  As well as my confidence to race a half.  Now I have to stress about my nutrition the whole ride.  Stress I will, I won't be able to shut that brain off.  I am sure every slight stomach ache or head ache will have me thinking this is the beginning of the end. 

What is going on with my nutrition I am not sure.  I have always trained this way but it is not working.  Possibly because I am riding a bit harder which is a good thing but I need to change my nutritional needs to follow this new energy output?  Who knows?  We are trying to figure it out?  So I keep reminding myself to think of this weekend as training and not a race.  But I am disappointed because I want to consider this a race... Yesterday on time hop an old race report popped up from last year.  It was titled whatever... I was so relaxed at that race, no expectations.  I want that feeling back!  Last year it was easy because I wasn't training much but this year I am putting in a lot of work and I want some payback.  I do have expectations!!  To say I am obsessed with this weekend may be an understatement.  I guess it is time to practice some mindfulness or stress relieving yoga or something.  I just want Saturday to get here and for me to magically morp to the run!  Preferably to mile 13 of the run.  I also have been on a huge taper week and we all know that can make you nuts.  My calves feel like they are going to rip out of my legs, I am so tired how can I every execute a 5 hour plus race.  Taper is crap.  It really is.  I never do well on taper.  I get a sore throat, I get a stomach ache, my legs may fall off, anything you can imagine....

Everyone says Ironman is a journey and this definitely has been one.  I keep thinking it will be one more trial to add to my celebration as I cross the finish line.  So this weekend I am asking for prayers, mojo, good thoughts from everyone.  I am hoping my mind can relax and I can enjoy this distance that I love!  Then as a bonus I get some R and R in Chicago and what is even better no training!  So I sit here typing to hopefully take my mind off this race for a while and to have this report as a memory.  Maybe next year when it pops up on time hop, I can think how silly I was to worry about something that turned out great!

Happy Racing....

Ironman Training and the Life of a Domestic Goddess....

Busy has become my middle name.  It seems if I do not have a bike under my butt or a bathing suit on I am playing stay at home mom extraordinaire.  I am not sure how I ever stayed a stay at home mom for all those years.  I did not go back to work until Morgan was in JK.  No wonder I was a crazy person back then.. ok crazier than I am now.  Everyday is just an endless supply of cooking, making lunches for Stewart and Noah ( who is working 9-5), laundry, cleaning up after kids, and running errands and driving kids everywhere!!  I also have thrown in multiple trips to Lausanne for meetings, coaching, teaching camp, etc.  This has not been a relaxing summer but through all the chaos I am thankful for each day.  Thankful for the family and the life I have.  Last summer, I chose to redo and paint the downstairs bathroom which was a joke and I ended up bribing the boys with cash to finish for me. An artist I am not.  This summer I have decided to get new light fixtures, redo the dining room and kitchen, and recover the kitchen chairs.  The same chairs that I bought along with a kitchen table on a bike ride.  The next week I bought an awesome antique cabinet on the ride.  The men no longer let me go in for water.  Regardless the fun never stops around here!  :)   The other day I was complaining about the geese crossing the road and how I was going to call the homeowners association and file a complaint.  They take forever to cross and there is goose crap everywhere.  Stewart has taken this as a sign that I need to get back to work.  Not yet... I have a bunch of training to fit in before everything gets insane.  I will have about 3 weeks of insane.  More than any girl should ask for.  On the training front, things are going well.  I am riding well... hung with the A boys last night.. only girl up there and tempo and runs are great.  I do feel fit.  Swim is just swim.. easier, more efficient but never faster.  SMH...  my body is doing its best to stay together.  Lots of Foot issues and IT issues which are still stemming from my antiobotic fiasco and I am finally calling Uncle and going to see Croft tomorrow before I dig myself into a hole.  Actually I am loving IM training.  Surprised?  Very.  I do get tired and I count the work outs down to rest days but all in all I am embracing it.  Loving the long rides and the neat places I have been able to ride.  I have been lucky to get some great rides in Chatt and Monteagle as of late.   I have a half in two weeks and if all continues I feel fit and have high hopes of a good race.  Fingers crossed... oops.. got to go pick little bit up from cheer.  Today I have driven to and from my house a total of 12 times.. 12!!  Maybe I do need to get back to work!!!

Waterfront Triathlon Chattanooga

So... I finally raced again this season.  It seems like forever ago that I did Cedars of Lebanon and so much has happened.  I was more than looking forward to this race because anytime I can be in Chattanooga it is a good thing!  We could not have asked for a better day as the day was just absolutely gorgeous - one of those where you just want to spend all day outside and guess what I did!!

So Ironman training is going and even though some days it is annoying, I am mostly enjoying it.  A lot has happened and I feel like I have just kept plugging along and knocking off one day at a time.  The week of Cedars, I was sick.  I was on antibiotic, received a breathing treatment, and a steroid shot.  I felt better for a day and by the time race day dawned, I felt like total hell and was running a fever.  I could not decide rather to race or not but since it was super short I went ahead and raced and had a great day.  From there on, I just could not get well.  Went to see doc twice more, received another steroid shot and some other meds and just still felt so tired and could not quit coughing.  When we got to Arizona, I was exhausted and just quit training the whole week and slept a ton.  I also started running a fever and decided that I really thought I had pneumonia.  The doc sent me a prescription for Levaquin which is used to treat pneumonia.  The good thing was after two pills, my coughing was done completely!  I was more than ecstatic!!!  The first side effect listed was tendonitis.  Stewart went to pick up my meds and I was like please talk to the pharmacist.  The pharmacist said she has nothing to worry about.  Ha.. since then I have two PT's tell me an athlete should never take levaquin.  It can do some crazy things to athletes.

So, we return from Arizona which was awesome even though I missed out on some good eating because I was just not feeling my best.  This was a true bummer especially the night we went to a restaurant that had over 60 kinds of homemade pie!  I ran one time the whole week but my leg was feeling a little weird and so was my foot.  Hmm.. odd?  I haven't even done anything but had been hiking and climbing at slippery rock so just figured that was the culprit.  Sunday morning in Memphis I ran a great 13 miles.  The last couple of miles, my foot was killing me!! And it was even worse   after running.  A few days later, I had a tempo and some hill repeats.  The run was great but as I was running my cool down, shooting pains were stopping me in my track.  It felt so weird and not like any IT pain I had before.  I limped back to the house.  I could not have ran if someone was holding a gun to my head.  After some doc visits, we decided that this pain was tendonitis and we think it was definitely med induced.  I stopped taking my meds immediately and started treatment.  It is better but still having some major foot pain especially AFTER running.  It takes about a day or two before I can run again.  This week is going to be interesting as I have some back to back days of running so fingers are crossed.

So forward to racing.  I was looking forward to the Olympic as I have not raced one since 2011.  It is not my favorite distance and the hardest for me to race.  With the mile swim, I have such a disadvantage.  No matter how long I swim or how much, I just never seem to get faster.  I am no longer waiting for the breakthrough.  My endurance gets better but speed stays the same. I feel like my form has also improved hugely but I am just not a swimmer.  The half I can race, the bike and the run are longer so I can make up the lost time but with the oly, I just don't have the time on the bike and run.  Liz just told me to try and finish each event stronger than I started.

Stewart and I were 660 and 661.  You get bused up to the swim start and swim down the river to transition.  The day was beautiful so we had fun just hanging in the field waiting for our time to start.  It was a time trail start.  Stewart says I am going to just swim right behind you.  Even with a 3 second time trial start - it seemed the river was packed with swimmers as soon as you entered.  At one point, I remember thinking I wonder if Stewart is with me because I was definitely not holding a line very well.  Next thing I know I get whacked in the head, I look up to see who that was and it was Stewart!  I continued to get hit a couple of more times, leg, head, shoulders so I just kept Stewart in my sights.  We both finished the swim together in 23:30 which was good for both of us but placed me 17th in my AG and Stewart was 34th  leaving the water.  Ugh!!  Just let me be a swimmer!!!  ( on a side note, Stewart went on to kill the bike and run and finish 12 in his AG and 90 overall for men)  This race has over a 1000 racing.  A little more training and racing and I have a feeling - he is going to be one hell of a triathlete!

I knew the bike had a lot of long hills and I just wanted to start out steady and not blow up.  And I did that pretty much the first 13 miles to the turn around.  I was passing a ton of people even though I was not pushing and not even breathing hard but felt pleased with my ride as no one had passed me.  At the turn around, two girls and a guy passed me and I was like go with them but at that moment, I was switching water bottles around in my cages, taking a gu and the moment passed.  I didn't go and I still regret that I did not chase.  They were the only people to pass me on the bike.  As I neared the end of the bike (which is slightly longer than the regular 24 miles in an Olympic but is 26 miles in Chattanooga.  It seems all the races are long in Chatt. )  and I reminded myself it was time to GO!!  I began to stand up on each hill and try to push but it was like it was just not there.  I felt like I was on one of my Saturday am long rides.  My head wanted it but it was like my body did not respond.  Not once did my legs burn, not once did my lungs burn and more than once the thought went through my head that I was kind of holding half iron pace.  The good thing was that if I needed to bike 30 more miles, it would not have been a problem.  I averaged just slightly over 18.5 which was quite a bit slower than my last race but this was super hilly and on this course I was going to take it  but I still felt like I needed to do more.

The run started up the big hill - same big hill we will run at the start of Ironman but I felt fine.  In fact I felt fine the whole run, I felt strong and nothing hurt.  I was passing tons of people and no one passed me on the run.  I kept asking myself - is this it? you are really not hurting?  My answer was well you are passing tons of people - yes but maybe they are just slow and all the fast people are up front? ( they were, they started in the 1-200)  I definitely was not in pain as I was able to talk to others along the way and respond to those who yelled at me about my suit.  Once again, the thought went through my head that I felt like I was holding a training pace or my half iron pace.  I finished and definitely could have ran more if needed.  I averaged 7:57 - much slower than I wanted so my thoughts were confirmed, today was pretty much one big long training day.  I even had a man that I met at the start of the race say to me I saw you come off the bike, I saw you finish - you looked great!  Yeah - I guess great should not be the word you should describe yourself in racing.  I ended up being 7th on the bike and 4th on the run in my age group - not complaining but I think I could have done more.  I am calling it a successful day as I was hoping to be in the top 10 and I was number 9.  I did make my goal and there were superfast ladies ( I guess all way in front of me) at this race as it was the Southeast Championship but I was disappointed a little in myself.  Today my foot hurts and I am concerned.  I am in Chattanooga and Mont Eagle until next week so I can't even get to the doc.  I keep hoping that it is going to heal itself.  I am motivated and enjoying training but I am tired of all the road blocks.   I did receive a nice quote from the ironman page the other day " A road with no obstacles is most likely a path that leads nowhere"

I am excited and ready to keep moving forward.  I am looking forward to some great bikes and runs this week in Chattanooga.  I was able to visit the local Y today to get in a swim which is always fun to me.  I love to see different facilities and swim in new places.  I am also ready  for this old body to just hang on a little bit longer!!

Ironman Forward!!

Bad racing juju be gone

So I can't talk so I may as well write a race report. It is so weird not talking but the effort of doing so brings me to a fit of coughing so I have chosen to be silent. It is awful. I must say. Not sure why anyone would want to be quiet when there is so much to say

Regardless I have decided I am done with bad racing juju. We all know Boston was not the experience I hoped and leading up to and after I was dealing with a variety of injuries. I was more than ready to throw in the towel and was so over it all. It was just too much. I had decided to give one more push and let this race at cedars be a turning point or at least I hoped. It wasn't easy. I had missed about 25 days of running total before and after the marathon and yes lost some fitness. Running was hard, I was feeling out of shape, I had to concentrate on getting my leg to do the correct motion, and it hurt. I also was spending tons of time in PT. I decided I really hated running and when a run popped up on the schedule I dreaded it. I just wanted to swim. That should tell you how bad running was going but I decided to fight. I was going to do this race and was hoping to do well

So I went to Chattanooga to see my beautiful daughter which is great fun but Dallas and I have a love/hate relationship. Love him and hate his hair. I was there maybe 5 minutes when my eyes were itching and I was loading up on allergy meds. Came home late Sunday and by Tuesday morning I knew something was not right in the asthma department. This does happen quite often after a visit with Dallas. Tuesday night after my bike and run, I felt like a semi had run over me twice. I slept none Tuesday night but slept all day Wednesday and most of Thursday. Headed to the doc on Thursday for breathing treatment and a steroid shot. Thursday night I felt great. I even hit up a Lausanne baseball game and completed my swim workout. I didn't work Wed/Thursday but felt fine for Friday. By the afternoon, I began to feel a sore throat, tightness in chest returning. By the time we hit packet pick up, I felt awful again. I chose to ignore it because this was my turn around race. I had a 50 minute bike ride to do and we figured we ride the course for part. I have become completely reliable on Stewart for all things pertaining to travel. I thought he knew the course and he thought o knew the course as I raced this race many years ago on a different course. We set out and then realized we were nowhere near the course. And we continued to get lost again. I began to feel a little stressed as my 50 min ride was hitting the 1:30 mark. And we were riding super hilly roads although the names were comical. At one point we were on the corner of Chicken Rd and Tater Picker. I was more than ready to be done so when we happened upon a Dollar General, I decided to wait for Stewart to find his way back and get me in the car. Sitting on the sidewalk of a dollar general parking lot on A Friday night in a town with Tater Picker as a street is quite amusing. We finally made it to dinner where due to sickness or tiredness I fell off and knocked over the bar stool after one drink and found myself asleep on the hotel room floor while Stewart showered. I was beginning to doubt my ability to race the next day.   I did get a great night sleep but woke up feeling like hell. Decided o would warm up and see how I felt. I ran for 10 minutes and the great thing was my leg was feeling normal!!! The bad was I think I had a fever I was so overheated and the running killed my throat. I decided to forgo the swim warm up as the water was 76 and it was beginning to rain I did not want to stand there and be cold.

I decided I was racing because it was short and I would at least finish even if it wasn't pretty. The swim was short and sweet but cold. I hit that water and it was Cold ! It was wetsuit legal but I had no wetsuit   After momentarily taking my breath, I began to swim and felt fine. Actually I felt fine the whole race. Could I have been faster if I wasn't sick, who knows? But never at any moment did I feel like I was racing poorly due to being unwell. The great thing was my bike computer fell off at the start of the ride so I had no idea how fast I was riding. I just rode and chased and did the same on the run. Endorphins are an amazing thing because as soon as I finished I began majorly coughing and having breathing difficulties.  As of now I feel like hell but have chosen to ignore it. I also chose to start my antibiotics.  I got a spark today and it was great!  I wanted to be racing, I want to be faster   I am ready to see improvements. So come hell or high water, I am getting in a solid three weeks of training before I leave on vacay.  The floods may come but I am pushing on. Feels good to have some spark back!  If only my voice would come back!!!

Turning a corner ( fingers crossed)

On Friday night I drove home from my middle school track meet in tears. I was ready to be done. I just had dinner with Stewart and told him I was getting my money back from ironman and calling the season done   After a long day at work with sports fest and then a long track meet, I was hurting so bad I could barely sit through dinner. I just wanted to go home and lay on the heating pad and sleep. In fact since March 21,  that has been my main goal. Get to bed, lay on heat and try to sleep. Hence the word try to sleep. I was in so much pain at night, I would wake up every 30 minutes it seems. Let's just say I have  not been a real fun person to be around.  I can not imagine how people out there live with chronic pain.  I know there are plenty out there that have more pain than I and it is everyday and I can not imagine it.  The pain that I felt pretty much clouded everything I did.  From being a good mom, wife, athlete, employee, etc.  It was also so frustrating because I wanted to do more and physically couldn't or was just too worn out.  Stewart has picked up major slack on household duties for me these past few weeks.  Doing my job has just been awful. The other day one of the coaches, yelled run!  I had to yell back, I can't.  I need to be able to be physical at work. My job is not one that is fun to do when you are hurting. I am always up, moving, motivating kids, etc.  It's hard when in the back of your mind you just want to lie down.
 I can almost remember the good ole days of no pain.   It was  March 21, I had been running great. Feeling on top of the world. Hitting every work out. I just had an awesome bike where I was so pleased with my paces and was ready and thinking my season was going to be great if I kept this up.  Maybe even feeling a little cocky.  Karma anyone? Then  everything fell apart. A groin injury  from this bike ride which then  led to IT band issues, butt, hip, lower back and then laughingly shoulder issues has made the last 6 weeks hell. And for fun I got to run a marathon in the middle of this in cold windy rain. Looking back on this race I thought I was mentally weak because I felt like I just gave up.  Now I think it maybe was one of the most mentally strong moments I have had in a while. I have lots of mental strength to move forward and forge ahead.  This is something that has been an asset my whole life and one that served me well in my first marriage.  Pick yourself up after every blow and just keep marching.  I am proud to say it is something that I have tried to instill in my kids because I believe it is a very strong character trait to have and one that will serve you well in life.  It has also served me well in training and racing.  I may not have the time to train ideally or the physical strength of a superb athlete but I do have my mind. But lately  I could really feel my mentality waning.  There is nothing I do not like more than a quitter and I was about to become one.  My overall daily satisfaction was at all time low. I felt it was just too much , had reached the end and I was going  to allow myself to quit.

 So after the marathon I really did nothing for 10 days but swim and bike easy. Hence the incredibly painful shoulder issue on the side with my metal plate. After 10 days I ran for the first time.  I was really nervous about this run because I knew it was not going to be  pretty.  My legs still were somewhat tired.  I still am in awe of how much recovery I needed after that marathon.  I guess when you run 18 miles on legs that are done, they get tore up pretty bad.  As I predicted the run was a joke! Slow, painful and all those issues were back times ten. I really just wanted to throw a temper tantrum in the middle of the street.  I have been known to do.  Ok,  maybe more than once especially in ironman training.  I also have ran a whole hour run on the trails in tears.  Not out of physical pain but out of mental exhaustion.  So I am no stronger to some bad training days.  This time I went straight to Marty our PT as school and we examined everything.   I  am so lucky to have the resources I have at work and those guys went to town.

So back to being ready to throw in the towel... Friday night I went to bed and prayed for a sign, a sign I should continue or quit. Saturday I woke up and had a great - ok good but in my mind it was great 65 mile bike and a pretty decent run. Today I ran 40 minutes and it was the hardest 40 I have ran in awhile. I CANNOT BELIEVE I RAN A MARATHON 15 days ago. It was so much work to get the leg to do the running motion and do it correctly. I never concentrated so much on a run. I had sweat pouring down my head and I was slow but I was running and almost running normal!  Plus I Was so happy to be back on the trails.  They are my happy place and something I had abandoned too much during marathon training.  Although the leg was tight and not right I had no pain and none after. I swam and had minimal pain after the swim. Was this my sign??   Saying don't give up yet, you got this. I really think it was.  I think it was the answer I needed.  Yes,  you are not perfect but you are improving.  It will be work but you can do this.  We can beat this injury and I am sure the others that may come.   It is going to be some work to get to the finish line but once again I feel ready to put it in. PT, yoga, strength exercise, etc but I need to get through this season.  I am still in awe that I made it through 2 days of training and felt ok.  I am hoping this was not a fluke because I really do feel it was my sign that said we are going forward, not backward Leslie Crais.  Put on your big girl pants and get moving!     Now about that race I have in two weeks, that is another  story.  I am not sure what will happen but hey I have two weeks and in just 24 hours I feel like I made leaps and bounds.

The day was great, It was filled with church, kids activities, soccer games, hanging out on the patio with family and the whole time I kept thinking to myself - nothing hurts... you don't hurt.  I am calling this weekend a victory!!

Boston....

****Please excuse all typos and grammatical errors



Boston....

What can I say about this day.  I have so many thoughts whirling in my head that I may just need to do talking points or a list.

I guess I can start with the disclaimer that I really do not like a marathon.  And I can't figure out why?  I can run a 50k and think it is the best thing ever but a marathon not so much.  Maybe it is all those miles on the pavement and I just really need the trails to enjoy the long.  Boston was my 4th open marathon to run and will probably be my last.  After running the Ironman marathon this Sept then I most likely will never do the 26.2 distance again.  Who am I kidding?  I may never race again.  I really am having trouble with feeling any kind of race mojo this season.  I joke of retiring but that joke may be coming more of a reality.  So back to my feelings on the marathon.  My first ever was St. Jude back when Morgan was about 3 and I was new to running.  I just had to try it out.  Riley's good friend had just died of cancer and I thought why not??  Well.. I ran it with no nutrition and no idea what I was doing and HATED it... I even yelled at my family when they cheered for me on the course.  I said I would never do another and didn't for quite some while.

I ran the Indiana Marathon many years later because Jennie Vee and others were training for it and I thought it would be fun!  I qualified for Boston and as I came across the finish line I was miserable.  JV yells you qualified!!  Be happy and I yelled I will never run another marathon again.  And I did not run Boston that year.  Fast forward to 2014, once again I thought I wanted to do another Marathon.  Signed up for Baton Rouge and hoped to qualify.  I was running some but not a lot.  Stewart and I had just gotten engaged and we were traveling and busying just enjoying each other so I missed a lot of long runs but did lots of shorter faster stuff.  Marathon day dawned and It was beautiful weather and a great course and I "faked " it and ran 6 mins faster than my qualifying time.  I again qualified for Boston and thought this is your third chance to go, you are not getting any younger, you need to go.  So I went...

Training was going great and I felt great.  I wasn't running tons of miles but I felt fit.  I expected a pretty good race and I thought the day would be great.  Then I got hurt and it would not heal so I quit running and then I quit biking and then I quit swimming.  I ran for the first time the day before the race to see how it would feel.  It wasn't painful but it wasn't right.  I ran 6 minutes but I felt exhausted and I asked Stewart what is our pace??  The 8:30 felt like a 6:30.  I hurt the rest of the day after that run and that night at dinner, JV says you look like you are limping.

So before I get to the race, I keep pondering what went wrong?  Why did my legs completely fail me?  Yes, the conditions were not great but I do not believe they were a factor.  Maybe they were some and I just did not realize it.  Was it because I had done no significant running in over 3 1/2 weeks and no running at all for 10 + days?  Was it because I was running slightly different due to my left leg?  Was it because I had been on a steroid leading up to the race and my nutrition sucked.  I had lost about 4 lbs because with a steroid I just don't want to eat and my eating leading into the race was certainly not fueling my body.  Sure I had a nice pre race carb dinner but can that make up for a week of not fueling properly?? Did I go out too fast?  Based on what my paces were in training and what I ran with ease, I feel no.  I would run in the low 8's easily on my long runs and finish up in the high 7's.  I truly felt like an 8:20-8:30 pace was in the conservative zone. Was it because my legs had no activity whatsoever for days leading into the race and then it was just too much?  Was it because I really do not like a marathon and mentally I was not present.  Who Knows?

I do know this.. Boston is a beautiful city.  The people take great pride in their city and their race and I was super impressed how they were out in the cold rain supporting us.  I loved how whole families would be out there giving us water, cookies, oranges, etc .  It was a great atmosphere in a wonderful race full of tradition but like I told Stewart no matter how much you dress it up it still is a marathon.


So.. race day dawned and it was predicted to be pretty crappy.  Yes, I was not thrilled about it but I was fine with it.  I have raced and trained in bad conditions so it was what it was.   We got on the bus later so we would not have to sit out in the field too long in the cold and wet.  Our plan worked pretty well because we were dropped off, stood in the potty line and then it was time to walk to our corral.  A man was saying to each of us as we walked by.. Be proud of yourself.  This is an accomplishment.  You should be proud and I got a little teary because this was something that I kept reminding myself.  This was just not any other marathon but I was still having trouble feeling it.  People around me were so pumped up and were saying I can't believe I am here?  I can't stop smiling!  etc... and I just wasn't feeling any of it.  Maybe it goes back to having no race mojo as stated above or maybe it was because I was super worried about the left leg and how it would perform on this day.  The race started and I tried to get caught up in the excitement.  I cheered, I sang to the music, I hit hands as I ran by but not sure if my heart was really into it.  I was thrilled to notice I had no shooting pain going into my groin even though I did feel like I was favoring my right side quite a bit.  The 10k went by really fast.  I was glad my family and friends were receiving text messages of my splits because I had told them if you see 8's all is good, if you see 9's or higher something is not right.

About mile 7 I noticed my right more than my left quad was burning, really burning and I pretended not to notice. Both legs felt really fatigued.  I pushed it out of my mind because really there was no way at mile 7 I should be feeling this type of fatigue and pain.  Ignoring it I kept running and I have to say I loved the crowds but was really disappointed that no one around me was talking.  I would have loved to have found a group to chat with.  I would hear bits and pieces here and there of chatter but that was it.  It seemed everyone was focused on the task at hand. So I hit my first dark spot about mile 9 to mile 12.  Really?  This was way too early but my legs were tired and hurting and the miles were taking forever!  I really just wanted to be done already.  I was so looking forward to the half point because then I felt like I could just begin the countdown.  We did enter Welsey College around mile 12 and this was fun and I think it did do something to help brighten my mood.  I felt in a happier place and came around for a bit.  We started to hit the hills around mile 16 and my legs just felt like they had nothing in them and the downhills by this point were so painful.  By mile 18, I was once again in the dark place and my main thought was to get finished.  I was so envious thinking of Jv who I knew because of little bit was going to cut the race short.  I would have given anything to quit at that point.  And I am not going to lie.. many times the thought of screw this went through my head.  I felt close to tears and I was not having much fun.  Stewart had said he would be at mile 21 and I was praying that he was.  I needed to be able to tell someone how bad I felt, how this sucked, and how I wanted to quit.  I felt like if I could voice this it may be all better.  Well he was not there but I did seem to hit a rally point around here for a bit.  I noticed we had lots of downhill and was so disappointed I could not take advantage of them.  The legs would not allow it.  I began to repeat the mantra shuffle your feet in my head because if I tried to really pick them up, they just hurt.  At this point, I was just on major countdown.  I spent the remainder of the race this way.  Counting the miles or half miles, trying to pull my head into the game and enjoy where I was , feeling pain and fatigue in my legs, and wanting to be done.  Stewart was at mile 24 and somehow we missed each other.  I would have loved to see him at this point.  As I rounded the corner and saw the finish line, I told myself to get it together, you were doing something that people dreamed of, to enjoy it, to realize where you were, to take in the moment because I felt like I would not be back.

People around me were crying, hugging, celebrating and I did a forced victory sign as I held my hands up in the air.  I was just so happy to be able to stop moving.  Unfortunately I still had quite a trek back to the hotel.  I struggled to move forward, numbly grabbed a bottle of water, had my finisher's medal put around my neck, had a sweet volunteer dress me in my finishing warming blanket as I was like dressing a two year old and now just as my focus had been to reach the finish line, my focus was now laser beamed to reach the Sheraton hotel.  It seemed as soon as I quit running the rain and wind picked up but maybe I was just now noticing.  I was cold, shaking, and barely walking.  I knew we had to loop around to Stuart street but played dumb and tried to cut down other streets but this was a no go.  It was crowded as hell and I was bumping into people everywhere because I wanted to get to the hotel as quickly as possible.  I was so jealous as I walked by the family meeting area and saw family members helping others walk and I had no one to drag or carry me.  A man jumped out in front of me and said can I please get your picture I am from Competitive Magazine.  Not today sir.  Nothing was keeping me from moving forward.  Finally entered the Prudential center which connected our hotel so it was now warm and dry but unfortunately I had to keep moving.  A man stopped me and asked was I able to get on any warm clothes?  I guess I looked as hellacious as I felt.  I mumbled something about trying to get there.  I bumped into Stewart in the lobby who was in a highly celebratory mood and wanted to bring me outside for pictures etc and said JV and the group are meeting at 5 napkins.  My response was get me to the room.  No pictures, no food,  I just needed a hot bath. 

This run really did me in.  I came off the finish line from an Ironman ready to eat, drink, celebrate.  Hell I played putt putt with Noah the next day.  This is no lie, my legs hurt so badly I would have accepted a wheelchair for the rest of my trip in Boston.  I also was so disappointed as I felt like we didn't get to enjoy the city as much as planned after the race.  It was rainy, cold, and I was moving like a 100 year old woman.  I love traveling with Stewart and checking out new places and I did feel a little depressed that this did not happen post race.  Even though we did have a great visit to Newport the day before the race.

To say the trip home was an adventure to say the least.  An airport personnel actually asked me if I was going to be able to make it after watching me walk down some stairs.  Stewart either caught a bug or food poisoning and spent the whole flight home throwing up.  Both of us have never been so happy to see Memphis.

So in short.. It was a great experience.  It is a great race.  I had an awful day but feel truly blessed that I was able to experience it.  Will I ever go back, highly unlikely but I have learned to never say never.  As I always tell my kids you have to try things more than once because you should never make an opionion off your first try.  And I am more than thankful that I have a body that can do what it can do.  As I boarded the plane, the man behind me said Oh Boston.... that is my life long dream to get there and I have not been able to do it.  I am still trying.  Yeah... I jut did that.

Now.. time to recover.  Yesterday work was painful.  The kids were so sweet but I left track practice and went straight to bed.  The act of walking and moving just wore me out.  Today my legs feel better and feel marathon sore.  They feel like what they should feel like after a marathon not the shreaded mess they were... ready for some Ironman training... I think  :)

Please excuse all typos and grammatical errors.

Gaining Fitness...

I love blogging, not sure why because most of it is meaningless drivel but just fun to get thoughts on the paper or screen.  I have written several posts that did not get published but still liked expressing my thoughts.  Most with no rhyme or reason.  One post was on the everyone's a winner and the finisher medal but due to being blasted, just kept those feelings to myself.  I also thought about doing a post to my trip to Miami which was incredible by the way but this started years ago as a training blog so I seem to have trouble using it for anything else.  On a side note, I believe I would move to South Beach in a heartbeat.  The city is always up and going!  The food was incredible and after training in crappy weather, running, biking, and swimming outdoors was a dream come true.

Training is moving along and I have to say after 2 years of just mucking around, I am loving working with a coach.  I love that my thinking part has been taking out of the process and I can just do.  Lately most of the do has been going well.  I keep waiting for the week where I can't  hit the workouts and the paces but for the most part I just keep feeling more fit and stronger.  I had an amazing first day on the bike outside the other day.  I have been doing mostly stuff on the trainer with some outside rides here and there but was really impressed with my average on Saturday for a 40 mile ride so early in the season.  I hope it was not just beginner luck or the fear of being left out in the middle of not knowing where I was but  a trend that will continue.  My run fitness is feeling great!  As I was running a progression run the other day I was thinking how much of a genius my coach is - as I am training for this marathon, I have found that I just love it.  If I was training myself I would just be slogging the long miles every weekend, I get so many weekends off where I run by time and higher intensity and it has kept me fresh and healthy.  We also go by heartrate so it is so fun to see the paces I can hold at certain hr's.  It also takes the stress out of having to run a specific pace for tempo or progression runs as I just stay in a certain zone and my fitness indicates the pace.  As the marathon gets closer, I am returning to the track and the work outs she sends have been fun!  The other day I could not wait to get to the track and do the work out and it did not disappoint, I guess anytime you can look forward to hitting the track and thinking this is going to be fun - you must be doing something right.
Swimming is going, I feel great but am not fast.  I just don't even look at the clock and just swim.  I get those days when I feel awesome because all the 60 and above are swimming next to me and then I get those days when I feel slow when the 10 year old is schooling me in the next lane.  But I just don't care, It is what it is.  This new attitude also has me loving the pool for the first time ever.  Some days I prefer to swim over running.  This Wednesday I do have a swim test scheduled which I will not lie scares the shit out of me.  I just want to be my zen self in the water  - not stressing on going all out but not blowing up .. etc... but it will nice to get some feedback and see where I am on swim times.

Even thought my training hours are not huge right now, I have begin to feel some of the effects of training for an ironman... random hungriness at certain times.  The other day Stewart said you are always eating.  Oh Baby you have seen nothing yet.  Wait until you find me at 3:00 am cooking in the kitchen.  The random grouchiness has set in.  I can be laying there fine and the next minute ready to bite someone's head off.  The house cleaning laziness has set in.  Last week I peaked on Thursday and went down hill.  Stewart had to pick up the slack because if I wasn't interacting with the kids, I was tired and just wanted to read.  I am also blaming the awesome book I am reading right now as part of this laziness.  The it is 8:00 and I am going to bed now tiredeness.  And I have started to feel the real effects in my legs, just feeling tired - so tired sometimes.  Thankfully I am on rest week this week as this weekend kind of got me.  I was pretty much the walking dead from about 4:00 on yesterday but had my parents over for dinner so life had to go on. 


I do have some random Ironman goals going on in my head... I have always done ironman just to finish but this year being that it may be my last has me thinking otherwise... not sure what they are yet but they are in debate and thought of often.  The other day at the pool, Suzy says I think you could go to Kona if you really wanted to.  That my friends I can tell you is not a goal, there is no really want to in that area.

Boston goal is to relax, run , and enjoy the day.  I am run fit and am hoping this fitness will carry me along.  I do not want to be a slave to the garmin and miss out on this great running experience.  That is easier said than done because it will be very hard to shut my mind off.  I thought of just running with no garmin but am afraid that if I do that, I will go out like a banshee and the latter part of the race will be miserable.  I noticed on my progression run yesterday that I can run a 7:00 minute pace down hill in low zone 3.  I do not need to go out at a 7:00 minute pace at the start of a marathon so a garmin will be worn to protect me from myself.  My goal this day is run and have fun and hopefully I can get caught up in the atmosphere that I will forget that I even have a garmin on my arm.  I do it easily in Ironman so hope the same can be done here.

Loving these warm temps right now and so looking forward to more.  I love the heat, I love the feeling of leaving a work out looking like I just stepped out of the shower.  I am more than ready for the summer and seeing what it has to offer on the training front.

Happy Training!

FYI.... this training is kicking my ass.....

I interrupt this life to throw in some training and that training is kicking my ass!!  Training for tri season and Boston has started.  I am back with my coach.  She knows no mercy. She has me doing two a days most days and I had forgotten what that was like.  She doesn't care that I am in a middle of the cross country series and I want to do well and I would really like to go into a race rested.  Below are some random thoughts that have gone through my head since starting back with Liz on Jan. 1st

*  You are getting too old for this...

* If only there was about 5 more hours in a day....

* I would pay to have someone come run long with me.  I have done every long run alone because I am going at crazy hours.  One day starting a 16 mile run at 4:00 pm on a Saturday

*  You are strong, this is only making you mentally stronger... getting you ready for Ironman

* I am not sure if you are going to be able to do this...

* Of course you are going to do it, you are not a quitter, you committed to this and you will see it through.

* I joked about becoming a better swimmer by osmosis but it is true!!!  After watching swimmers day after day and studying their stroke and form - I think after 8 long years, I am finally swimming correctly!!  It is sweet,  I can feel the difference in my stroke and when I revert to my old ways

* I am too old for this

*  At least I get to eat and eat a lot.

* I can't believe I picked this time to give up diet coke but finding one in the trunk this morning was like finding gold.  I haven't drank it yet but knowing it is in my office fridge is oh so sweet!!  Just sitting there for my taking

*  I may not feel like I am racing well but you are beating men that you normally don't beat even though you can't seem to catch that elusive girl in front of you

* You are giving up way too easy, you need to remember how to make it hurt and how to race, you almost have her, but I am so tired....

* I am too old for this

* Maybe I should retire but I think I would miss it

*  I want a new bike

* Thank God for the Biggest loser, American Idol, and the Bachelor on Hulu - they have made the trainer rides great.  And for Morgan giving me a complete DVD season of the Brady Bunch

*  I need 5 more hours in a day or a way to do on less sleep. 

* Thank God Noah can drive and can help out.  He can drive little bits to school so we can be at the pool, running, or on the trainer at 5:30 am

* How much coffee do I need to seem awake

* I just really want to lay in bed and watch daytime tv and read my book

* I wonder how many things I can fit in one day

* I am down two toenails already... will I have any by ironman???

*Monday is here!  OFF Day which has now become our Date day as well... we need to celebrate Mondays because one off day is really not enough

So - I have been in a bad place in training and really relying on Stewart to pull me along.  Between work and coaching swim and the girls gymnastic and Noah's basketball and the house and trying to spend quality time with family and Stewart and cooking and shopping and everyday stuff I have been exhausted and doubting myself.  Plus I have been training so much alone.  The other morning I had a hill work out to do and it was cold and I just couldn't drag myself outside.  I went to the gym and loved having people around me and music and coffee... it did my heart good.  I also am praying that one day Stewart and I will get on the same training schedule.  We are using the same coach and have the same A race.  Surely our training will match up soon.  All I know is I will be mentally ready for those long lonely miles in Ironman.  I have spent so much time alone.  But it also gives me time to think and I remind myself that I can handle anything on this journey and I will.  So once that realization sunk in, my attitude changed.  I knew I was in for the long haul taking one day at a time, the good, the bad and celebrating the fitness that I am gaining.  Yesterday after running 18 miles ALONE with the 8k thrown in into what I am sure was the hilliest and windy 18 ever... :) I just wanted to go into bed but I went home showered, got dressed, devoured the bread basket multiple times at Coletta;s and had a great dinner with my family and parents ... I can do this.  I will do this.

Love a little race report.... the 3k

This past weekend after about a four year hiatus I decided to do the cross country series.  I really think the hiatus lasted so long because I really do not enjoy the first race the 3k.  It is awful, miserable and I just really dread it.  This year was no different.  I started back with Liz on Dec. 31st with a bike test which almost had me puking on the compu trainer and for pitiful results.  I then went from doing about 4 work outs a week to doing 6 days a week training with most days containing two work outs.  I was tired and my legs were tired.  I knew I would hate the 3k but felt like it would be a great work out so lets go with it.  The day before my calves were extremely sore from the bike test, running long, and tons of jumping at 9 rounds so I went to my favorite Chinese Foot Massage and received an hour of their glorious magic.  The next day when I showed up to the race and begin to warm up, my legs felt light and good!  At least I had that going for me!!

The race could be summed up in one word - HARD!!  Usually I am a happy racer smiling and acknowledging those around me but during this race I was pretty much blind.  I was on the pain train and could hear people shouting my name but no way could I tell you who it was or acknowledge them.

Why was I in such a pain??   If you look at the results I averaged just a little over 7 minute pace.  Well... here is the deal.  If you have not participated in the 3k - you are missing out on one of the runs little painful secrets.  You run the first mile in an open field and then enter the trails.  At the horn, everyone bolts like a madman.  Even Lane is saying over the meagaphone, this is the race where everyone goes out hard and fights to hang on.  That sums it up.  I go out at paces that I shouldn't even do a 200 in and then still have to race the rest of the race.  I wish I could  get everyone around me to agree to start out at a pace we can hold or at least not get caught up in the frenzy.  The guy who was running next to me at the start of the race - told me afterwards that we were running a 4:50 pace at the start.  So this year after trying to hold on to these crazy fast paces that did begin to slow at each 200 yds but were still too fast - I enter the woods and think Thank God!  This is my place.  I am a trail runner.  But the woods were a muddy messy mess and the effort to run in them was double.  I am a trail runner and kept talking to myself to go - go and begin to catch 2nd and 3rd place girl.  If we would have just had another few minutes of woods running, I think I would have caught and passed them both.  Came out of the woods right on their shoulders and thinking I am going to sprint this last .20 of open field to the finish.  Forgetting that I am not a sprinter and they both had the same idea.  So I finished 4th with about 6 seconds separating all three of us.  My hope is at the 5k and 8k when we are in the woods the whole time that I can catch them.  I really would like to be in the top 3 overall in this series. 


Never with more joy did I cross the finish line and be so happy that a race is done.  Went straight to the car and hit Starbucks - then went home and cleaned house with all my adorable children and ran countless errands before hitting church and having a birthday party for Stewart.  And that was that... the race was forgotten.  I love that I have now moved to the point to accept my performance for what it is.  If you knew me years ago, I would have spent hours beating myself up for not pushing harder or going after those girls more aggressively etc.  Now I figure that I did the best I could at that moment and it is a great place to be.


And now I am just counting the days to spring... brr... br.....

ready for 2015!!

2014 was a great year!!  I gained a fantastic husband and two great step children.  Watching my children thrive in the new environment was great and watching Stewart be such a great step father to them was even more awesome.  In the husband and father department he is top notch and so giving - I sometimes just can not really believe it.  He also has really learned to push right back at me when I push at him which is great!  I love it and he has learned I love a good disagreement!  We had very few of those this year and spent most of the time just having a great time  from lots of traveling to laying in bed playing cards or yatzee. 

What we did not do a lot of was train.  I felt like I did the bare minimum to have a decent half marathon and not to just gain a ton of weight because one thing I know if I did not want to change my eating habits.  Luckily for me - I can get into somewhat decent shape on the bare minimum and feel like I am starting 2015 with a decent run base.  Swim and bike not so much.  I did a little of these but mostly just for play and to spend time with Stewart who was recovering from an injury and could not run.  My bike test the other day was evident of my total lack of bike fitness.   I also took up 9 rounds which is a boxing type interval gym and I totally love!!  I am going to be sad when my tri season really begins to build and I have to put it by the wayside.  The workouts are fun - quick - always changing and the people in there are great!
2015 brought back Liz as my coach and with her - I realize how little I really was doing on the training front.  I look at the schedule she has sent me for the past 3 weeks and am thinking seriously??  Most days have 2 work outs a day.  It has been a long time since I have done two a days. BUT I am also really rested and ready for the structure and work toward a goal.  Stewart has hired her as well and he is loving it just a few days in.  I knew he would because one thing my husband is is super organized and loves structure.  He is totally fired up by looking at the schedule, doing what it says, and logging in his comments.

As for new year resolutions  - I really have none but to continue to strive to be healthy, be active, a great mom and role model and to be a good role model for the kids at work.  I did begin to give up diet coke about a month ago and think this is one goal that I will keep for the 2015 year.  I have done so well and can go days without drinking one or just having a half of one on most days.  I realized how much of a habit it had become and I was drinking them just because I always had one at 3:00 or always had one when I got home at night.  I know how bad it is for you and I feel like that I spend most of my time trying to live a healthy lifestyle and this just does not fit.  Wine may not fit either but that is staying around.

Here's to a great 2015 and may everyone reach their goals!!